Nutella Consumption Guide

Nutella! My favourite source of chocolatey goodness. 

Nutella has been produced since 1964, and if you want to read more about that kind of thing the Wiki article is here

Ferrero were sued last year, because "Nutella's misleading promotion led consumers to believe that Nutella carries nutrutional and health benefits, marketing it as part of a nutritional breakfast" but to the Fererro family $3m is nothing so they took it in their stride, and contnue to produce the pure chocolate ecstasy that is their hazelnut spread.

If you believed that liquid chocolate was part of a nutritious breakfast you deserve a slap for being a fool. Nutella, in all it's delicious awesomeness, doesn't have to be a source of nutrition to make it to people's breakfast / lunch / dinner tables, computer desks and small tables next to the sofa for perfect access while playing video games.

I have in the past not answered a phone call on more than one occasion because I was wrist deep in a jar of Nutella, and well.. priorities.. 

750g jar of Nutella

Anything less than a 750g jar is easy work in a mere hour or two, sometimes minutes, so obviously the 750g is the best way to go, and if you are not sure where to find this happiness in a jar, check your local supermarket, E-Mart, Costco and Sainsbury's have it for sure as that is where I go to feed my addiction. 

Consumption Guide! :D

Preparation:

You will need a knife, a spoon, and freshly thouroughly washed hands.

I suggest settling in front of the TV or computer or wherever you watch things, and put on your favourite TV show or anime series for eating this (doesn't matter what it is, the taste of Nutella even negated the gore I was exposed to while watching "The Walking Dead".) as getting up and moving around can impede the consumption process, (although if you have access to this than you can get over that problem). 

They suggest breakfast as a good time to eat Nutella, but that is way too limiting, and I rarely eat breakfast. Especially now I am unemployed breakfast = lunch anyway. Sometimes eating while playing games can be OK  but you will need both hands or the great speed and coordination to lick a spoon clean in seconds while simultaneously gripping a 750g jar between your knees and holding a console controller in the other hand (I have this coordination).

1st Stage of Nutella Eating

It all starts in a reasonably civilised way, with a nice loaf of bread or a crumpet, and a knife for application. When you run out of bread, progress to the 2nd stage.

2nd Stage

At the 2nd stage only a spoon is needed, often at this point you get thirsty so you need a glass of water at hand for this stage. Scoop mountains of Nutella out with the spoon, the more you can actually pile on the spoon the less energy you will have to waste dipping the spoon in the jar. It's all about efficiency.

After the 2nd stage you will start to find that the spoon comes back less than completely coated more often and then you need to progress to the 3rd Stage.

3rd Stage

The next stage requires one to revert to ones most basic hunter gatherer skills, the gathering eating part mainly. Before one undertakes in this part of the eating stage, although I am sure that most people would have done so already, washing your hands is essential because licking unwashed hands can lead to all kinds of sickness. 

The use of ones finger will result in the removal of all but a small trace of chocolate love from the jar. I find it is better to keep a fingernail short for this purpose, as getting chocolate out from under nails can be difficult and result in tongue cuts.

As you can see the jar opening is just wide-enough to allow an adult hand to get in there. I see this as the makers of Nutella encouraging us not to waste any of this chocolatey goodness.

I hope this guide can help you to enjoy Nutella.

(NB: Excessive consumption of Nutella could possibly lead to high sugar related disease like diabetes and obesity, and in my case eczema outbreaks but I think think there is anything wrong with a treat every now and again!!!)

Apple Crumble.....! :D

My Sis hit Costco today and came home with coma inducing amounts of Nutella, but also with apples and my hormones were craving dessert. I decided to put off the inevitable eczema, that always results from consuming large quantities of Nutella for about a day, and embarked on an apple crumble adventure..  

yaaaay....!

So there are two sets of ingredients, one for the apple filling; Apples, I used 6 (you can see the size in the picture, I have large man hands by the way, that's a decent sized apple), three tablespoons of sugar, a tablespoon of cinnamon, a teaspoon of ground cloves, and four tablespoons of Amaretto~~!

Peel, core and dice apples! (couldn't find out corer, so this took AGES -_-;; )

Enjoy some Amaretto!

And one for the crumble, I used about 120 grams (half a mug??) of brown sugar, and flour, two tablespoons of butter, one tablespoon of ground cinnamon, about 5 (crushed) biscuits.

Crumble ingredients; brown sugar, and flour, butter, ground cinnamon and (pre-ground cinnamon sticks)

I used 'Hobnobs' for the biscuits. They're my favourite biscuits! :D pretty easy to come by, but you can use digestives, almonds, or rolled oats, to add a little extra crunch to the crumble :)

Hobnobs! "Nobbly".... lol.. oooooook.

1. Put all the apple mix in the pan and heat over a low heat for about 15 minutes, I  stirred it occasionally, and while that was on I made the crumble:

Pan with apples, cinnamon, cloves, and Amaretto.

2. Mix all the crumble ingredients together by hand. I also tried crushing the Hobnobs by hand and after I started to mix the other bits together, I realised there were too many big bits of biscuit, so used this pumice got the best biscuit texture.

(all this could be negated if you use a blender to mix the crumble ingredients, but I hate cleaning those things and couldn't be bothered to move everything else on the side just to make space to use it..)

3. I buttered the baking tray, and poured the apple-ly contents of the pan in the baking tray, poured the crumble over it, and put it in the oven. 

I used a fan assisted oven preheated to 200C, and left it in there for 20 minutes, yours might take a little longer or a little less (20-30mins) so I suggest you check on it towards the end.

Here it is on the way  into the oven,

Here is the finished result:

Not diet food!

Definitely not diet food, covered in custard....!

I heated some Ambrosia custard and used my captive audience of my sister and her boyfriend as willing test subjects for my first baking adventure in a while.. (I never had an oven in Korea!) and they seemed to like it! No one has died, and I fell into a food coma straight after eating this. Good times.